To say I'm unimpressed with children's movies is an understatement. I loathe children's movies. Everything is too over-the-top, have-to-outdo-the-competition. They are loud, garish, and unimaginative. It's a sad state of affairs when the last children's movie that I *loved* was The Incredibles. Nothing since then has really floated my boat–or my kids' boat, for that matter. I have been entertained, mind you, but it wasn't sensational. Current movies don't strike me the way movies did when I was a child. I would tend to think it's because I'm watching with different eyes now, but my own children don't seem to be impressed with the movies any more than I am.

You know what has them talking? The movies I watched when I was a little girl. So far I've shown them the following:

• Escape to Witch Mountain (Fun fact: The actress who plays Tia is Paris Hilton's aunt.)
• Return from Witch Mountain
• Back to the Future
• Back to the Future 2
• Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
• The Hobbit
• Candleshoe
• The Little Rascals/Our Gang
• Riki Tiki Tavi
• ALL of the Star Wars movies (granted 1-3 came out while I was an adult; I still showed 4-6 first!)
• Clue
• The Private Eyes

They loved every single one of those* and asked to watch them over and over. I could have predicted the cool factor of the light saber, but who knew a flying Winnebago would be so enticing?

(* OK. Chlihead, Jr. did not like Clue or The Private Eyes. She disliked them because she viewed it as confirmation that anyone could be murdered any time for any reason and that scared the dickens out of her. Lesson learned on my part. I honestly thought the humor would outweigh the obviously fake murders. I saw The Private Eyes when I was her age and loved it. It's very un-PC, though. Seriously. So if that offends you, stay away.)

We have a DVD case that holds 200 DVDs. It's not completely full, but it's getting there. Nothing in that case has been watched (except for The Little Rascals) unless there is absolutely no other choice or we're on a road trip. I'm loathe to purchase any more movies. Indeed, I've told the kids they have to pony up their allowance for any new movies. Not that they've asked because guess what? Nothing's good enough to buy. Right now I think we're all content to let Netflix ship us the next blockbuster from the 70s and 80s.

We currently have in our Netflix queue:

• For the Love of Benji
• Splash
• Ghostbusters
• Teen Wolf
• Old Yeller
• Adventures in Babysitting
• Big
• What About Bob?
• The Karate Kid
• Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
• Back to the Future 3

It's true: none of those are earth-shattering choices with great lessons to be learned. But you know what? They don't have all the dazzle; they just have jokes. Most of them have an interesting story to boot.

I understand that many of these movies also contain language not fit for little ears. I was never restricted in what I could or couldn't watch while I was growing up and I think I turned out OK. I generally know what my kids can handle and they know what our rules are. Just because some guy in a movie says a certain word, doesn't mean it can come out of your mouth without a consequence. You can absolutely laugh at it, though.

What about you? What movies do you remember from your childhood that you think today's kids would enjoy? Have you shown them to your kids yet? I need some more ideas.

Emily’s husband nailed the 12-hour movie-going demographic. The audience was made up of three kinds of people: two friends that happen to be women, older couples, or fat single men. He nailed it, I tell you. The fat single men were also those who liked to talk very loud about their ideas on LOTR and Star Wars. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except for their weird need to be noticed for their unlimited knowledge of Hobbiton. Said men kept talking loudly, then would glance around to see if anyone were watching them with awe. Um, itweren’t awe, y’all.

The movies we saw were (in order):

1. Michael Clayton: Emily summed it up best: How can you look at George Clooney in anything without thinking, "Oooooo! This is a tight spot!" Besides, I think I’ve seen this movie before with Russell Crowe and tobacco. This was my least favorite of the five.
2. There Will Be Blood: I loved Daniel Day Lewis. I thought this was a phenomenal movie. Emily didn’t care for it as much. Watching a strong man break is always interesting, I think. FYI: There Will Be Blood was based on Oil! by Upton Sinclair. I have the novel on reserve from the library and I can’t wait to see what I missed in the movie version.
3. Atonement: (Also based on a novel–of the same name–by Ian McEwan.) I loved James McAvoy as the fawn in The Chronicles of Narnia. I love him even more without his fawn makeup. Y’all. I’m talking piercing, mesmerizing blue eyes. The story was interesting, but it lost steam.
4. Juno: This was one of my favorite movies, but not. It’s hysterically written and superbly acted. As a mother of a daughter, though, I was torn. This movie is ultimately a love story and our heroine just happens to be pregnant. I wanted Juno to suffer and know the consequences of her actions. As an audience we catch glimpses of her frustration (an argument in a hallway, sadness in the hospital), but really it’s about Juno’s personality and finding her way to her love. It’s mainstreaming teen pregnancy. On principle, I have a problem with that. However, I loved this movie for the one-liners (one of which provided the title for this post). I’m really torn. It’s hilarious, but why are we glorifying this with humor? I hate to admit that I loved this movie because I really didn’t want to, even though it was getting rave reviews. As a mother have I completely lost my sense of humor? I hope not.
5. No Country for Old Men: Holy Canoli! Violent. Really, really, blood-gushing, cover-your-eyes, please-don’t-kill-anyone-for-five-seconds violent. Fargo was violent, but it was funny. This was violent with a little humor here and there, mostly in the form of the deputy. I was tense through most of this movie. It just doesn’t let you relax.

The thing about all the movies was that I didn’t feel like I had the entire story. I felt like the movies were abridged somehow (which is why I’ve reserved what books I can from the library–I want to see if they were, in fact, abridged or true to the novels). It was frustrating to sit through each movie and wonder if I’d really seen all there was to see.

Have you seen any of the movies? What did you think?

When I read Jane Eyre there are certain parts that make my whole body shiver. Butterflies in my stomach. Goosebumps on my arms. The chemistry of love in this book is undeniable.

When I watched this movie two days ago, I had the same reactions I do when I’m reading the book. In fact, though I’ve never cried while reading the book, I cried while watching the movie. Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens portray Jane and Mr. Rochester to perfection.

If you do nothing else today, put this movie at the top of your Netflix queue, rent it from Blockbuster, or better yet, order it from Amazon. If you love Jane Eyre you will not be disappointed. Trust me. The scene where Jane is leaving Mr. Rochester? You will not be able to get it out of your head. It’s been a bit re-imagined, but it’s even more powerful, I think.

Last week I saw Casino Royale. I’ve never been a James Bond fan. Everyone said, "It doesn’t matter. This is the one you should see. You’ll love the James Bond franchise after this one."

Well, they were partially right. I’m still not a fan of the 007 movies. However, I’m now a HUGE fan of Daniel Craig. He’s exactly the right mix of totally hot and completely hot for me.

I will be watching him paint his living room and brush his teeth just as soon as that unauthorized DVD is released to the public.

In other news, Leonardo DiCaprio has finally grown up and started to act. I’ve been listening to the hype since Titanic and waiting for it to happen in reality. I’ll grant that he was pretty good in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, but since then I haven’t seen much to impress me. Gangs of New York was not great, The Aviator was only interesting because of the subject matter–I didn’t completely buy him as Howard Hughes, but I wanted to hear the story.

That’s all changed. Little Leo’s all grown up as Danny Archer in Blood Diamond. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. I was blown away. (However, I’m not in the ‘Leo-is-hot’ camp. He looks a little like Eddie Munster to me.)

And did I mention you should buy Casino Royale just for the eye candy? Because Daniel Craig does not look like Eddie Munster. Oh my word, ladies. Just look at him. I don’t know if I’ll get anything at all done today.

• You know, I love that word. Gargantuan. I so rarely get to use it in a sentence. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
• Violet! You’re turning violet Violet! Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• I had a little trouble in tinting class. Grease
• You are a boil on the butt of humanity. Steel Magnolias
• Character 1: You cheated!  Character 2: Um, Pirate! Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
• Boom chugga lugga lugga! Boom chugga lugga lugga! Stripes
• Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? Breakfast Club

• Nothin’ good. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
• So where did you and Wendy meet? Prison. St. Elmo’s Fire
• Laugh it up, Fuzzball! The Empire Strikes Back
• Can you bring me my chapstick? Napolean Dynamite
• You threw off my groove! Emperor’s New Groove
• Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks…  Monster’s Inc.
• Be gone! Before someone drops a house on you too. The Wizard of Oz

If you know me, you know I lu-huv me some movie quotes. Let’s see how you do, shall we? Some are wicked easy, some may not be. Whatcha got, Chachi? Can you hang with the big girls without cheating and looking them up online? Can ya, punk? Well? Can ya?

1. Too right you will. Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets.
2. Clever girl. Jurassic Park.
3. Did that blow your mind, because that just happened! Talladega Nights.
4. Have you seen the toilet? It’s ginormous! Elf.
5. And then there is the abyss. St. Elmo’s Fire.
6. I’m your huckleberry. Tombstone.
7. He’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. Jaws.
8. It’s a liger. It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed…bred for its skills in magic. Napolean Dynamite.
9. Run away! Run away! Monty Python’s The Holy Grail.
10. Oh, Fred! She’s gotten her boobies! Oh and they are so perky! Sixteen Candles.

Guitar Hero Wisdom: If you want to do an encore but the sound guy is shaking his head angrily, just do it anyway.

Peter is a documentary filmmaker and spends months in Africa every year. He travels to very primitive places all by himself and refuses to eat anything but what the locals have available. All that he has seen definitely weighs on him. While he is home he lives very simply. The people of Africa are a passion for him.

One of Peter’s documentaries, Darfur Rising (about children fleeing the genocide in Darfur), has been accepted as a finalist in the Seeds of Tolerance competition.There were 350 videos entered into this competition and a panel of judges narrowed the field to six. It is an honor for him to have made it this far.

Here is where you come in. The winner of this competition will be chosen by popular vote online. Would you please go to the Seeds of Tolerance site, view his film, then register and vote for it? First prize is $115,000. Peter’s mother has e-mailed to us that he will use the money to help the people of Darfur. Also, if you are so inclined, could you encourage others to also vote?

Each of the six films is compelling in its own way. However, I’ve read
some of Peter’s e-mails to his family and friends. I know that what he
has filmed has been intensely personal for him and I would like to
encourage you to vote for his documentary.

My friends, you really need to see this movie. It is funny, it is smart. I was literally laughing until tears streamed down my face.

After the movie we discussed the timeliness of it all. The premise is that a family is traveling from New Mexico to California so their daughter can compete in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant. It is full of mishaps and disappointments, but the ending is the real deal. If you go see this movie, let me know! I’d love to know what you think about the pageant. 

(I’d discuss more, but it hasn’t been out long and I don’t want to spoil it.)

Well…technically, I broke the law. I stole. And now I am being flip about it.

At noon today I went to the theater and paid to see The Devil Wears Prada. At 2:05 I was on my way out to my car when I saw that X-Men 3 started at 1:50. The X-Men theater was right next to the exit. I almost went directly to my car…and then I didn’t. I looked at my watch, calculated what time the movie would end and when the kids would be home. I totally went in and saw X-Men 3. I did it after thinking about it and I had guilt for about 30 minutes. Then I got too wrapped up in the violence to care.

I know you are appalled. Get over it. I’m 35 and I’ve never done it before in my life. Frankly, the opportunity was too good to pass up. If you stop reading me, I’ll understand. If you want to go to the movies sometime, give me a call.