Chilihead Jr.’s motto: Be happy.

And she is.

Twelve years ago, when I was eight months pregnant, we found our Forever House. We moved in during a heavy snow with the help of a few friends and their pick-ups. It took an afternoon, I think. I can’t be sure, though, because I was eight months pregnant and hormonal. In my fuzzy, Vaseline-rimmed mind it took an afternoon so I can only suppose it was actually longer.

And I hated that house in the beginning. I missed our mid-town Tulsa cottage that we decorated just so. I hated the beige and light blue everything of the house: the carpet, the paint, the wallpaper, the trim.

And then, slowly, we made it our own and somewhere along the way, I fell in love with it. We painted the dining room purple and the living room green — and it made me smile. We painted circles on Chili Jr.’s wall and the Blue Angels on Max’s wall. We poked a bajillion tacks into those same walls to hang posters of puppies in flower pots, Mario Kart, and Eskimo Joe. We also installed a significant gourmet kitchen.

And we did those things because we loved that house and we thought we’d be there forever. I brought our babies home to that house. Rocked them to sleep in that house. Threw Halloween parties in that house.

Then, just for fun, we started looking around to see what houses were available in our market. And we found a house we thought we could love as much as we loved the one we lived in. So we bought it.

Then I looked around our old house and thought, “How can we move this?” and started hyperventilating. In fact, just thinking about it is making me hyperventilate right now and I know how this story turns out.

My husband is a bit of DIY-er. And, since we’d been moving our stuff together since 1993, he figured we could do it one more time. And, my friends, I am here to tell you that the amount of stuff you have in college is not the same as the amount of stuff you have after 16 years of marriage and two kids. In the 12 years we lived in that house, we accumulated stuff that could fill the state of Rhode Island (if Rhode Island was 2300 square feet and had a few walk-in closets).

The stress of moving ourselves — without the benefit of friends with trucks this time — has been great. And, although we have moved everything from the inside of the house to the new house, there are still many things on the outside of the house yet to move over. Like my Grandma Isephine’s lilac bush and her irises. And our huge hostas that Husband has been nursing for 12 years. And the lawn mower. This weekend we will finally empty out the garage via my final garage sale ever. Never again in my life will you hear me say I’m getting ready to hold a garage sale. And if you do, please kill me on sight. I’ll thank you later.

Moving is a process that has taken over a month and doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. I have more to tell you, but right now I have to go find a paper sack. The hyperventilation never ends, I tell you.

Max, I understand that you’re nervous, but what’s the worst that could happen? At least it’s not Hobo Day and you’re all dressed up as a hobo and have to get on the bus. Did I ever tell you about the time I was nine and it was Hobo Day at summer camp?

My Hobo costume was just a few patches sewn on my shorts because Uncle Travis and I forgot and Grandma Donna had to quickly improvise something. When I got to camp, there was only one other girl dressed as a hobo and her costume blew mine out of the water. So I was one of two girls dressed up (out of, I’m sure, a hundred other girls) and I stuck out like a sore thumb because the other girl was older than me and not in my group.

To make matters worse, when we went on our nature hike in a pasture, I stepped in cow poop but I didn’t know it. Then I knelt down on one knee and sat on the heel of my other foot. And do you know which foot that was? The one covered in cow poop. And when I stood up I had cow poop on my butt and it looked like I pooped my pants.

THAT was embarrassing. Getting on a new bus with kids you already know from school is not embarrassing. Man up, son.

Also? I counted and there are 17 kids at this new bus stop. We had three at our old stop. Thirteen of the kids at the new stop are girls. That’s about a 3:1 ratio. When I explained that Jan & Dean and the Beach Boys would not only take those odds, they wrote a song about it, my boy just rolled his eyes. I didn’t really think he’d get it or that he’d take advantage of the situation, but I do like to mess with him early in the morning.

My favorite restaurant moment of 2009

In May we went home to Walt Disney World. Although I research the bejeebus out of Disney before each trip, we tend to like what we like and, though we know our options, we stick to the tried and true. This time we wanted to try several things we hadn’t done yet. One of those things was the Hoop-de-Doo Revue and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s a singing, dancing, slapstick extravaganza. Luckily, we were seated at the very back of the room, but since it’s Disney we’re talking about, there is no bad seat. I thought the back of the room would at least allow us to escape the eyes of the performers so we wouldn’t call attention to ourselves (being a family of introverts, this is important I assure you). Besides, if you’ve met my husband, you know he’s not big on audience participation. Throughout the show I’d catch him and Max chuckling a little so I knew they were having a good time. And then, near the end of the dinner, I look over at my husband and our son and they are waving their napkins like mad men. They are giggling. Giggling! How could I not follow suit? Chilihead, Jr. is always up for a laugh and taking part in the shenanigans, but my boys? Never. That’s why the Hoop-de-Doo Revue was my favorite restaurant moment this year.

When I was a teenager, I *loved* the end-of-year wrap-ups on various news shows. I enjoyed seeing the year unwrap itself with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. It’s been a long time since I’ve sought out those kinds of year-end recaps. As an adult, I find I’m busy and preoccupied. No time to remember! That’s why I take pictures! I’m too busy living life to remember it! (Oh, wait. That may just be the early-onset dementia…) At any rate, just looking at Gwen’s first writing prompt (What was your best trip in 2009?) has me reminiscing and realizing that, wow! 2009 was a great year for travel in the Nelson home. So, even if I don’t go past today’s prompt, I’ve gotten more out of this challenge than I would have by adding it to my doomed to-do list.

What was your best trip of 2009?

My best trip of 2009? I don’t know. How can I choose? I mean, I loved every place I visited!

January: Disney Cruise. BSM Media and Disney invited me and several other bloggers (all of whom I’m proud to call real friends) on a cruise to the Bahamas.

February: Dallas. Every February my dear friend Emily and I hole ourselves up with a few hundred other die-hard movie fans and watch, back-to-back, all of the contenders for Best Picture of the Year. It’s a 12-hour ordeal that is not for the weak. It takes real stamina to sit on your booty for 12 hours and watch some of the finest acting and most interesting story lines of the year.

April: Dallas. We attended the Sally Ride Science Fair, an event geared to encourage girls to stick with math and science to be all they can be. Of course, we stayed with Emily’s family and they attended the fair with us. The next day Chili, Jr., Emily, and I stormed the American Girl store and had a lady-like lunch with very large, un-lady-like portions.

May: Walt Disney World. I wasn’t able to take my family on the Disney Cruise in January, so we had to make up for it with a family trip to The World in May. Come to think of it, I still owe y’all a recap of that one. While we were in Florida, we took a day and visited Husband’s old neighborhood, his dad’s grave, and the ocean. It was cathartic on many levels.

June: Dallas. My first WordCamp. My BFF Emily graciously watched my kids for me while I braved my introversion and aversion to crowds. Hmmm. I’m noticing that “introversion” and “aversion” are very similar words. I doubt that’s a coincidence. As an introvert I have an aversion to many things. Among those is the act of meeting new people in a crowd.

July: Colorado. My dad and Robin are the best hosts. This year Husband and I flew the kids out a week before we arrived. That maneuver was a huge hit, both for the kids and the grandparents. I look to try that again next year. When Husband and I did arrive, we had so much fun. I was already stressed about writing the TypePad for Dummies book (our first chapter was due asap and I had to write while I was on vacation!), but I found time for my first hot-stone massage and some reading. My dad treated us to fabulous seats for our first-ever MLB game. Since I detest sports, I was sure I wouldn’t enjoy myself and considered more than a few ways I could excuse myself. In the end, I went and–would you believe it?–enjoyed myself! I cheered and rooted and laughed and sang and danced and embarrassed my kids mightily. It was a sweet night.

August: Norman, Oklahoma. We traveled with friends to meet Emily and her crew at the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History. How is it that I’d not visited this museum before? It’s amazing. My kids love museums and this was one of their favorites. I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that we had our best friends with us? Those kids have grown up together and, as we all grow older, it’s harder to find time for us all to connect. When we do, though, it’s like we never missed a beat.

October: Las Vegas. I attended Blog World Expo again this year and, though the conference itself was fine, I hated being away from my family for five days. I was the most miserable I’ve been all year. My depression can be seen in this photo:

November: Iowa. I attended the first annual I_Blog Conference and, I have to tell you, it was the best conference I’ve attended to date.  It was very small–about 30 women (and a few men) and those women reminded me why I started blogging in the first place. I enjoyed meeting them all and learning from them. It was fun to meet them (where was my introversion aversion?) and it was fun to see my extended family (who happened to live down the road).

Wow. I hadn’t realized that I’d done so much traveling this year–and I had been cutting back because Shannon and I were so busy writing the TypePad for Dummies book! How can I choose just one trip as my favorite? It’s impossible. I love my family and my friends. I love spending time with them and am just happy we have the means to do it as often as we can.

Thank you, Gwen, for being the brain behind this project. My writing is rusty; I hope this challenge will encourage me not only to remember the year behind me, but also to remember my narrative writing skills. For those of you who made it this far, I promise I’ll try to remember those skills sooner rather than later.

Every once in a while Husband would hint that it was time and I would put the kaibosh on it quickly. It wasn’t time yet.

This summer, Husband not only hinted that it was time for a Camaro, he started bidding on them on Ebay and would send me pictures of his favorite cars. Frankly, I felt like since I’ve gotten a few consulting jobs, the kids are older, and we’ve done a fair job saving our money, if the man wanted to bid on a car we’d never get, have at it.

Except he got it. His bid didn’t meet the reserve price and we paid well below what those cars normally go for. Sometimes the economy works in your favor, I guess.

We took our first drive around the neighborhood this morning. I couldn’t stop smiling. It’s so much fun to drive in that car with the top down. To feel the wind on your face and arms. To wave to people who are waving to you. One guy flashed us the OK and thumbs up signs with a goofy smile. I couldn’t help but laugh and wave back.

If you are a Tulsa resident (or live in a neighboring suburb or city), please consider writing your own letter to the South Side Rotary & Biscuit Acres Dog Park Tulsa Parks & Recreation (they are the source of the rule that needs to be changed; here’s a list of the Tulsa Parks Board Members). It is unrealistic to imagine that families with dogs will only be able to visit the park with children over the age of 12. Any school-age child accompanied by an adult should be allowed to visit the dog park with his/her pet.

Update: I have been told that there is indeed a Tulsa City ordinance that bans children under 12 from entering dog parks. I still can’t find it, but I will. I plan to try to make a difference here. At the moment I have several projects that require my full attention until October. In November, I’ll be researching the differences of regulations, ordinances, and laws. I’ll be figuring out how to change this one.

I feel like this is important. I’ve talked to too many people who agree that it’s an unreasonable ordinance, but they feel like they can’t make a difference or it’s too hard to make a change. Someone has to try to make a change. There are national issues I can’t influence, but locally I may have a chance. If nothing else, I can show my kids that if you feel strongly about something, you should do something about it. Win or lose, at least you tried. And come November, I’m giving it all I have.

Dear South Side Tulsa Rotary,

I was asked to leave the dog park today because I was accompanied by my two children. The volunteer who asked me to leave threatened to call the police and stated that it is Oklahoma law that children under 12 are not allowed into the dog park. Obviously I and my children were upset (though we did not argue with the volunteer and left quickly and quietly). Not only should the park be available to families to enjoy their dog, but it is NOT a law that no one under 12 is not allowed into a dog park. To say so is an outright lie and an attempt to bully me and my family into cooperation. I find it hard to respect an organization who would resort to such tactics.

I have read threads discussing this very issue in other places (the Channel 6 web site, for instance) and have seen several arguments against allowing families into the dog park. The thrust of those arguments appears to be that children can rile up the dogs or be knocked over. I would suggest that, while toddlers may be too young to be in the park with dogs they are unfamiliar with, school-age children accompanied by a parent are not. Of course they would have to adhere to rules (no running with dogs, etc.) just as dog owners adhere to rules (leashes only) in a regular park. Rather than place age restrictions, it seems it would be better to list a set of rules (not unlike those listed at the swimming pool). For instance, No running with dogs or No petting dogs without owner’s permission (since those appear to be the two biggest complaints). If I or my children don’t adhere to those rules we can be asked to leave. Denying our entrance into the park based on the presumption that my child will act inappropriately is unnecessary and insulting. If that were reasonable, I believe several businesses in town would have already enacted such rules for the masses.

As a Tulsa taxpayer, I understand that the dog park was built with donations. Was none of it done with taxpayer money? If not, how is it that the dog park is within a Tulsa City park? It certainly looked as if a City of Tulsa crew was working on the park this morning (installing a water feature if I’m not mistaken). I truly would like to understand how this particular park is set up because if it is part of a public park, it seems the restrictions you have in place are tenuous at best. Certainly this must be the case or I would not have been lied to about a non-existent law or threatened with police action.

I strongly encourage you re-think your rules for Biscuit Acres.

Sincerely,

Melanie Nelson, mother of 2 responsible children and owner of one dog who loves to play

The rule I stipulated with my kids is that the card is the boss. In other words, if they are so bored with all the toys they have and cannot possibly be bothered to find their own entertainment and must resort to the Boredom Jar, then no matter which card they pull out, they have to do that activity. This served two purposes: 1.) when thinking of activities to write on the cards, the kids actually tried to be creative and choose things they’d like to do and 2.) it stems the, “I don’t like that activity, I’m still bored!” routine.

The activities my kids chose?

• read
• ride bikes
• sew
• play outside
• walk the dog
• work on training the dog
• make a movie (I let them use my Flip camera and my computer)
• write a book (you have no idea how my heart flutters to know that my children love to write!)
• play with Imaginext/K’nex/Lego
• plan a meal (including grocery list, making the meal, and serving the meal)
• draw (my son has developed his own comic series–he blows me away)
• knit (my daughter loves to knit and, once I explained how it makes your hands strong for video gaming, my son was on board too)
• pool (obviously I have to take them, but hey, I love the pool)

So far this summer we’ve done a few of these, but for the most part, my kids are entertaining themselves. I think they like to have the jar available to them just in case, though. I’ve caught them fiddling with it a time or two.

Another thing you’ll notice about this list: it’s populated with things that are, for the most part, free. Yes, the pool costs money, but we join every year. Yes, if they plan a meal I have to spend money on groceries, but I’d do that anyway and this way they’re helping and practicing a skill. The benefit outweighs the bit of money.

Primrose School offers these other inexpensive ideas to help jump-start your kids’ creativity this summer and bust those boredom blues:

1. Stories Alive: It sounds too simple, but reading is one of the most important ways to keep young minds engaged during the summer. Make reading even more fun by finding ways to bring the stories to life.
2. Art Treasure Chest: Gather basic art supplies (child-safe scissors, glue, markers, tape, and construction paper) and put them in a special box along with empty oatmeal boxes and paper towel rolls, colorful magazines, and bits of aluminum foil. Occasionally add a special surprise like chalk, stickers, or stamp pads so there’s always something new for the children to find. Even if you normally have these supplies around the house, it‘s fun for children to know that the Art Treasure Chest is just for them. They’ll probably have some good ideas of other household items that can be recycled to fuel their creative energies.
3. Family Performances: Break out old clothes or costumes and encourage children to make up characters and create a play to act out.  They are the directors, actors, and producers.  They can also make musical instruments out of pots/pans, wooden spoons, empty canisters and have a parade; or everyone can play along to your family’s favorite songs. Record or video the performances, and enjoy the replay.  You’ll also be capturing a bit of family history everyone will enjoy for years to come.
4. Fort Building: Children love to build all kinds of structures–from small towns to large towers. Constructing forts or tents is an activity that can keep children focused and problem solving for hours. All the items you need can be found around the house: some chairs, cushions, blankets…and of course adult supervision.
5. Summer Scrapbook: All you need for this project is a spiral notebook. Encourage everyone in the family to draw pictures of favorite activities and collect mementos from special events throughout the summer.   Children love to go back through scrapbooks and albums and tell about what happened at each occasion.  They will also be building their storytelling skills at the same time.
6. Listening Game: Lie down in the backyard, in the den, or at the park and listen.  What do you hear? Do you hear what I hear? Can you imitate the sound? This is similar to watching the clouds and naming the shapes, and it encourages everyone to slow down and focus on listening.
7. Camping Out: Pretend to camp out in the backyard. Plan a meal, pack a backpack, and set up a campsite. You might even decide to spend the night!
8. Scavenger Hunt: Make a list or picture cards of common household items and have your children find the items on the list. Invite friends or neighbors to join in the fun to make it a competition.

“It’s important to keep children’s minds active during the summer, but it doesn’t take an expensive activity or big vacation to capture their attention,” said Dr. Mary Zurn, Vice President of Education for Primrose. “After all, imagination is free . . . Keeping children engaged with open-ended activities that stretch their imaginations during the summer months helps them develop their independence, creativity, and thinking. We want to help parents keep the ‘brain drain’ at bay while their children play.”

You can find Dr. Zurn’s monthly tips online at DrZandMe.com.

During our spring break last month my mom, who is a fifth grade teacher, visited us and offered to host a Harry Potter party for my son and his friends. Now, it’s important to point out that to my son and his friends a day of learning math, earning points for correct answers, and “buying” prizes like house badges (Go Ravenclaw!), bookmarks, chocolate frogs, and wands is considered a Par-tay. My mom delivered.

Mom arrived on Monday and we all planned and baked and decorated for two days. Max would be hosting the party for his friends, my mom would be the emcee/teacher, and Chilihead, Jr. would be the House Elf (helper and score keeper). I disappeared into my room to write a few articles I was committed to.

Now, before I show you the pictures of the party, let’s be very clear that, while I have great SLR camera, I don’t know how to use said camera. So the picture are not great. Also? While the pumpkin pasties and treacle tarts tasted good, the presentation left a bit to be desired. Bottom line? I’m no Pioneer Woman.

First row: Olivander’s Candy Wands and a close-up of a chocolate frog

Second row: Chocolate frogs and Dragon boogies & Skrewt tails

Third row: Moaning Myrtle’s Bathroom and Pumpkin Pasties

Fourth row: Snape’s Dungeon and the Sorting Hat

Fifth row: treacle tarts

Mom, we have to be a at school for the special day. I have a square dance to do and a jump rope routine. It’s a big deal! (sigh) It feels great to be back in show business.

Now, how do I tell her we’ll be at Disney World during the special day of show business?