It’s barely two weeks into the new year and I have had it. I can’t seem to get out of my own way. I’m lacking confidence, focus, and follow-through. Today was the last straw. So far today I have
- lost my grandpa. The upside is that my family was able to spend some good time with him and the rest of the extended family over winter break. I was able to witness one of his better days, but I was also in the doctor’s office when the doctor told him the chemo wasn’t helping and they were going to stop all treatments and focus on making him comfortable. He held on for two more weeks. I will miss him. A lot.
- saw one of my ideas realized, but not by me. Over the past year, I’ve had so many ideas, but wasn’t able to implement them because I was focused on writing the book (which, by the way, will be out February 22). I thought, “I’ll do that in January.” But someone beat me to it and I’m really irritated with myself.
- got my MacBook Pro back from the shop (it needed a new logic board), but it didn’t recognize the internet connection. (Update: this, at least, is fixed.)
- found out my favorite performer of all time, Harry Connick, Jr. will be at Blissdom. I was supposed to host a Wisdom Workshop at Blissdom this year, but realized I was completely burned out and needed a break. I told Alli I needed to skip this year. And now I’m missing the one guy I’d move heaven and earth to see in concert and meet. Are you kidding me? I actually almost threw up when I found out. You don’t want to know how close it was. It sounds silly, but this put me over the edge.
So, yeah, I say 2010 can #suckit, but I know that the rest of the year is up to me. I just hope I can find my mojo sooner rather than later. I didn’t have control over some of those things (or any of the other things I’ve dealt with over the past two months–trust me, this is just the stuff that happened today; there is so much more piling up), but if I let it get me down, I may not get up. I can cry or I can laugh. And I’ve already done the former.
Dear 2010, prepare to have your ass kicked. You’ve been warned.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so sorry about your grandfather.
And the idea that was realized, but not by you? Ugh.
And Harry. Major bummer.
I know that your grandfather is the greatest of these losses. But, sometimes it IS something like Harry that puts you right over the edge. (I don’t share your deep affection for Harry, but I have People of my own. See Michael J. Fox.)
I hope tomorrow is better.
I am planning to call you and express my condolances about your gpa..leaving a web based sorrow seems quite ick..never the less I am thinking of you and your loss.
Harry..well..I never knew..but am right there with YOU..OMG!! I dont even know what blissdome or wisdom workshops are..but sign me up!!
2010 started with my office being robbed and has gone down hill since..11 days in and im ready for 2011…lol..
You know? I think this is going around. The burn out I mean. I almost shut my blog down over the holidays, and I’m no where near as busy as you!
I’m so sorry about your grandfather.
I saw the announcement and immediately thought of you–I’d hoped you were going. I’m so sorry–especially for your family with your grandfather’s passing.
Teehee. Good for you! And I’m so excited to see you at Blissdom!
But I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. (hug)
Oh Melanie! This is definitely not the way to start out the year! It has to get better, right?
I’m so sorry about your grandfather.
I fully believe that you will, from here on, kick 2010’s ass.
Hi Mel- I’m sorry about your Grandpa – that’s a tough loss. But regarding the idea that someone else ‘realized’ before you–just because its been done, it doesn’t mean that it’s been done the way YOU would do it…I had that happen to me as well at one point and it just drove me to make a better version. Don’t let that get you down…oh and btw, I heard thru the grapevine that you may actually be going to BlissDom after all…imagine that.
xoxoxoxo