The “For My Family” Rule

by chilihead on March 11, 2009

in Family

Have you ever heard about the “in bed rule” when reading a fortune cookie? It goes like this: You read the fortune from your cookie, but you tag “in bed” to the end. For example, “You will find a small fortune. . .in bed.”

I think we need a similar rule for our daily lives. Let’s call it the “for my family” rule. For example, I’m going to tell you something I really believe to be true: I’m an awesome mom. . .for my family. The choices I make (like staying home) have nothing to do with you or how great of a mom you are. They only matter to my family and are a reflection of what works for us. I know plenty of moms who really need to work–whether it’s for the money, the social aspects, or they just really like to work. Those women are awesome moms. . .for their families.

When you start comparing yourself to another woman–whether it’s another mom, wife, or blogger–you are doing yourself a disservice. You can only be what’s best for you and your family. Be happy for yourself, be happy for those other women doing things differently. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to be the best you can be; I’m saying be the best you can be in a way that’s best for you, and let the others do the same.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Adventures In Babywearing March 11, 2009 at 9:14 am

You said this perfectly! Exactly that.

Steph

2 Aubrey March 11, 2009 at 9:20 am

Well said. And thanks for the reminder. Those Mommy Wars really get us going sometimes, so it’s good to step back and remember that my life isn’t about the Jones Family, but My Family!

3 Kim/hormone-colored days March 11, 2009 at 9:21 am

Amen!

4 Dana~Are We There Yet? March 11, 2009 at 9:25 am

Yup. That’s it. Way to hit the nail on the head.

Should you ever decide to give “awesome lessons”, I will sit on the front row.

5 Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home March 11, 2009 at 9:31 am

Amen, sister!

6 JoLyn March 11, 2009 at 9:41 am

Well said! There’s just no time to worry about how we’re doing compared to everybody else. We just do OUR best for OUR family. It works every time.

The way we read our fortune cookies is …. in the bathtub!

7 Nicole March 11, 2009 at 10:01 am

So well said! I find a lot of decisions I make (kid’s activities, my commitments, shows we watch/don’t watch, etc.) could fall under that category. You may not understand me, but its my decision…for my family.

8 Lisa March 11, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Awesome truth! Thanks for the reminder.

9 Christy March 11, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Great equation. I may have to use that in conversation with some nosy nosy folks.

10 Jessica March 11, 2009 at 5:38 pm

AWESOME post! I wish more women looked at the world through your glasses!

11 Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting March 11, 2009 at 7:17 pm

Love this!!!

12 amber star March 12, 2009 at 11:18 am

Very very true.

I’m having trouble keeping your blogsite updated. I put the new url into my blogs I enjoy thingy, but it goes right back to the typepad one. *sigh*

13 Penelope March 17, 2009 at 11:07 pm

What a great post! This is so true!

14 Senae March 21, 2009 at 8:56 pm

I just found your blog in a search for top mom blogs and am glad I found it. This post is really true and relevant to moms. And I love the way you compare the “fortune cookie in bed rule” to your idea of the “for your family” rule.

15 Katja March 22, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Well said, and I agree.

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