Which one are you? I’m a worker bee, but it took me many years to realize it. I want to tell you that story.
Before I became a mom I worked as a technical writer. Before I worked as a technical writer I worked as a web designer. My position as a web designer was my most intense and professional job and shaped me more than any other job I had ever had. It showed me many things about myself and taught me things I’d never imagined.
In my role as web designer I was really a project manager. I had my own team of three: a dedicated programmer, a junior web designer, and a shared graphic artist. My clients included Dollar/Thrifty, Zebco, a local hospital, an oil company, and a world-wide publishing company and it’s magazines. My clients routinely brought in the big bucks every month and I worked hard to make it happen.
The publishing company was by far my most demanding client. One magazine in particular was launching its own site and it was going to be big. Very big. I worked 70 hour weeks and ruined my mental health and came close to ruining my new marriage to make it work. I managed my heart out. I managed my team, my clients, my client’s clients, and advertisers. I gave presentations and answered questions. I traveled to Houston at least monthly and sometimes weekly. I went to trade shows to display and sell the new web site. At the time I thought I loved it.
As a child when I looked into myself and wondered what I’d be when I grew up, I saw myself in a skirted suit with a brief case. I was going to be a professional. What kind I wasn’t sure, but it would be important. As a web designer with important, world-wide clients I figured I’d reached that goal.
When I look back on that time of my life I realize how unhappy I was both professionally and personally. I was ready to throw away my marriage and punish myself in any way I could. I was deeply depressed. Once I realized how depressed I was I started subtle and not-so-subtle maneuvers to have my biggest and most lucrative client re-assigned to someone else or find another job altogether. (I ended up doing both.)
My job as a web designer/project manager, though, taught me something important: The stresses of being a manager are not for me.
Wednesday I’ll continue my discussion of Queen bees vs. worker bees.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I have seen my husband go through this. Some employers have been very fun and relaxed (nerf gun fights & yo-yos), others have hosted “family nights” at the cafeteria so families could enjoy a meal together without the employee actually leaving the campus. Currently he works at a company that has a good balance of work and play. Here he is being groomed for management, however he is not sure this is what he wants even though it would come with a nice wage increase. While more money would be nice I much prefer to see him come home from work with a smile on his face because he enjoys his job AND has the time and energy to pursue his other passions.
I really love to work, and I love to follow through on what I say I will do, and sometimes I like being in charge. On the other hand, sometimes it’s nice to be the “right-hand chick” rather than the boss. I can help my friend in lots of small ways, and know that I’m doing my part, and she can get all the credit. It’s a nice feeling.
I’m like you, I guess. I have had the “corporate career”, worked the 70 hour plus workweeks and now, looking back, I realize just how miserable I was. Always trying to make my life “count” for something. I am so thankful I can do what God called me to do – be a mom and wife, and I am blessed enough to be able to do it from home without having to work that other job.
You post is a challenge to me to look back at my choices (school, work, life) and see how I ended up here. Honestly, I always thought I was an alpha-girl but God didn’t think so. A lot of what’s happened in my life has made him the Alpha. Funny how that worked out so well for me.
Great post, Mel. Can’t wait to hear more.
I’m totally a worker bee. I hate to be in charge of anything. Just tell me what to do and how to do it, and I’ll do it well.
I never quite thought of it that way, but that’s a good illustration of the distinctions. I have always thought of myself as a worker bee rather than a manager, but the Lord has led me into a couple of managerial areas. Nothing like what you described — I could never manage that — but smaller responsibilities at church. He does give grace, wisdom, and ideas as needed for what I do, but my preferred working style is alone and on my own little project behind the scenes.
I think I’m both a worker-bee and the Queen-bee. I have control and delegation issues. Most people that have worked for me over the years didn’t have the same work ethic I have nor the inclination to crank out as much work in a day as possible. Partly I am to blame. Part of it truly is my Midwestern expectations vs. Atlanta reality. I have three young children (and of course a marriage) and my husband and I both work full-time. We make good salaries and I have to say I’m happy. I could not be a SAHM; but I applaud those who are. I’d rather pay someone to clean our house and run my errands (but not cook our meals!) so when I am at home I can spend my time with my family. Great topic and I’m anxious to read more.
I’m definitely a worker bee. I can’t even manage my three-year-old, there’s no way I could manage a staff. The only place I want to be the queen is in my own house. Very interesting post.
I was a worker bee until this year. Truthfully, I’ll never be a queen bee, but my good friend sat me down and said, “You have to learn how to say ‘no!’”
I’m glad you didn’t throw away your marriage – you and Mr. Chili look far too happy in your profile photo and have two adorable kids that strangely resemble Charlie Chaplin!
Enjoy your blog!
I’m so the worker bee. I like to call myself a mule. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it but don’t give me too much resposibility!