This is a continuation of my earlier post about discovering whether you’re a Queen bee or a worker bee. In that first post I discussed how stressed out I was as a manager.
Green3′s dad, my uncle, asked me this summer if I’d ever considered becoming a certified project manager. That made me think. There is no question I could do it. The question is, at what price? Sometimes I still think I want to be the Queen bee. After all, I have a pretty good skill set and I’m flexible. I know what I’m doing, too. It’s prestigious to be the Queen bee.
I look good on paper. You’d want to hire me if you saw me on paper. You may even want to hire me as one of your managers if you saw me on paper. I would accept the job, too, because I’d let the money and the idea of managerial power blind me. We’d both be happy… for about ten minutes. Then we’d both be looking for a way out of that mess. Why? The bottom line is that I’m a worker bee, not a Queen bee.
The problem that poses is this: It’s hard for me to work for others because I have been a manager. Let me rephrase that: It’s hard for me to work for people who cannot manage me. I have ideas about how things should be done. I have ideas about progress reports and deadlines. I have ideas on how to best use my skills and the team’s skills. So it’s important that my manager knows how to manage my personality as well as my skills. In my life I have come across only two people who managed me and my skills effectively.
I used to think there was shame in not being the Queen bee. It’s taken me years to realize that it’s OK to be the worker bee. I am that worker who can manage herself, but not others. I am that worker who takes pride in her work, who doesn’t back down from a challenge, and who makes sure it’s done right. If I’m not managing, my only concern is doing my job well. If I have to manage, I tend to expect too much from everyone else.
This is true whether we’re talking business or social groups. Although I tend not to be a part of many groups, the ones I have joined have always asked me to become president. I even tried it once. I took on the problems of the members, made hard decisions, and failed miserably. The next few times I was asked to run for president, I declined politely, kept my head down, and continued to do my own committee jobs well.
No, I couldn’t become a certified project manager. My intentions are good, but my implementation and management skills leave something to be desired. I am a perfectionist and I accept no less from those people that work for me. If you aren’t going to give 100% and make this the best project ever, then we’re going to have a problem because it’s my reputation on the line and I’m a firm believer in no excuses.
More to come on Monday.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh. my. goodness.
I have been, let’s say, not completely satisfied with my job for the past 5 months (I have only been with the company for 9 months) but not really able to pinpoint why I was so unhappy. I have some issues about working for a large corporation but I knew there was something more that caused my daily dread. What you describe about being a worker bee but not able to work for someone that can’t manage you is exactly what my issue is.
Now if I could only figure out what to do about it.
You have experienced what John Maxwell calls the “Law of the Lid”. You have not worked with many people who have a higher level of commitment or leadership skills than you do. It is impossible for you as a 9 to be led by a 5. Heck, a 5 can barely lead themselves, much less others! There are so many personality issues that have to be dealt with in a corporate setting, most people don’t read nearly enough to raise their leadership lids. What is leadership? Influence. You definitely have that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have twenty gazillion people flocking to your blog!
You’ve got this right on. I have a similar situation I guess as you describe. And while many think I am and should be a good leader it gets in the way and I’d rather do what I do best.
Wow! I know exactly what you’re talking about! I had gone back to school, studying project management, when I had a slight setback half-way through: a heart attack and bypass surgery. While I was rehabilitating, the school DROPPED the program! (What kind of school drops a project management program anyway?) I would have made a GREAT project manager. Now I see it as a sign, so to speak, that my place isn’t in the corporate world. My girls, my husband, church, and our home come first. That probably wouldn’t have happened if I’d completed the degree. You describe what I’ve gone through when you talk about having managers who know how to manage you. Those kind are few and far between–and usually jealous of your talents.
Keep on writing!
Blessings-
Dana
I feel exactly the same way as you do! As my recent foray into the blog-world shows, I am an all-or-nothing person. If I do something, I’m going to do my darndest to do it well. If others don’t share this value, I tend to get frustrated. I also have a hard time delegating because I’m such a perfectionist.
I like to be a committee leader, but not the head hauncho. Good post.
I’m about the same! They keep asking me to be a manager of one of the tax offices. I just keep saying, “no thanks, I do enough managing others at home.”
But I know I could do it. I’d like the status of it. I just would rather do my job and go home. I don’t like having to make the decisions or tell others what to do. But I have great ideas that I’d love to share and help implement. Just don’t put me in charge:)