Homiez

I couldn’t help myself. I had to take a picture of this to share. You can thank me later.



First, what’s wrong with these pictures? I’ll help you out.

1. This was obviously thought up by some white-bread ad exec sitting in his corner office high above the city right before he went off on his yacht for the weekend. How do I know? Hello, McFly! It ain’t Homies. It’s Homiez or Homeez or Homyz. Or even Yo! But I’m pretty sure no self-respecting street rat is going to actually spell "homies" correctly. Not necessarily because he can’t, but more because it’s just not cool.
2. This is series #7. That means there were six more before this debacle. Which means that those previous six series sold well enough to make a seventh. Let that sink in. Someone. Is. Collecting. These.

Second, let’s take a look at what people are buying, shall we? If you can’t see the picture too well, click on it and you can see a larger version.

1. Small Hat Homie. Is it me or is this the Homie version of Wimpy? "I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a taco today."
2. Homie Ho. What else can I say? She’s clearly not Marilyn Monroe.
3. MC Homie. Clearly literate and so the role model of the group.
4. What Homie lifestyle is complete without a trash can and stray cat? THIS is the one you cross your fingers for when you really want to get just the right ambiance for your Homies collection.
5. Mime Homie. Beware the Mime Homie. Just when you think he’s stuck in that box, he comes out swinging. The final hurdle to joining his gang is proving you can, in fact, put rival gangs in the box without letting them escape.
6. Girlfriend Homie. "When you gonna get a job?" "When you gonna buy me suntin?" "When you gonna marry me? I done got yo tree kids already." "I’m hungry."
7. Redneck Biker Homie. The token white guy. He is non-threatening because he is fat and slow.
8. Pimp Homie. He’s wearing a jacket even though it’s a hundred degrees outside because it’s tight.
9. Barber Homie. They don’t make Barbershop and Barbershop II and Beauty Shop for nothin’, people. You gots to be groomed.
10. Roadkill Homie. Actually I can’t tell what this one is, but he looks like he’s holding a dead animal. Ewww.
11. Connected Homie. This is the equivalent of the mob boss’ body guard. Very few brains, here, but he has broad shoulders and fists of fury.
12. Homeless Homie. Girlfriend Homie finally kicked him to the curb.
13. Girlfriend Homie 2. You know the Homies don’t just have one girl. GH1 probably found out about GH2 and that’s why Homeless Homie is on the road. If he’s smart, he’ll just keep walkin’.
14. Drop-out Homie. He dropped out of school because he was too cool. He was gonna make it, yo! Alas, he has no car, no job, and no money. He is forced it sit on the curb and wait for his homies to get out of school or come home from work.

Updated to add: Mary Googled Homies and found their web site! The cars are called Homie Rollers! How funny is that?